Our Numinous Mother Within

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What an intense weekend following the Capricorn full Moon my spirits and others spiraling downward into an emotional abyss as we struggled to adjust our early expectations of emotional nourishment. Those of us who felt deprived of maternal nourishment when we were young may have spent this time wrestling with our internal demons taunting us with the dark face of our unworthiness and self blame for not being given the emotional care we needed, and still need, to feel safe and secure in the world. The Capricorn full Moon reflects back to us on Earth the timelessness of our primal attachment to the original source of our nourishment and the numinous power of the all for-giving, Mother Goddess who lives within our collective unconscious.

I agonized this weekend adjusting my perspective of life, seeing my capacity for self nourishment askew, I realized how deeply I harbor the wanting of nourishment from others and how quickly the shadow of neglect darkens my view of the world. I read a tenderly written post from Moonkissed by Jessica, the Sun in Cancer illuminating our tenderness, which revealed to me a similar theme of feeling un-nourished in the world which literally left her feeling creatively starved. Another friend who was born with a Cancer full Moon, the Sun in Capricorn, experienced a feeling of liberation after a life time of being unable to say no to the needs of others, another friend, intensified her life struggle to separate her needs from the needs of her mother at a time when she was unable to nourish her creative self expression, and a male friend with a stellium in Libra said he felt enormous tension leading up to the full Moon and then a sudden releasing with the Aquarius waning Moon trine his Libra stelli.

It is definitely easier to appreciate the helping hand of our Universe when we experience our pleasure and good fortune, less so, when we feel the limitation and denial of our needs, and yet, the hand is the the same guiding us to a more fully realized self. I feel certain that this full Moon reflected our ability to creatively nourish ourselves when we are able to relinquish our expectations from our past and embrace our numinous mother within. It is not always easy but the Capricorn full Moon is helping us, teaching us, how to be more emotionally mature by learning to accept, often after heart wrenching experiences, personal responsibility for the nourishing that we need without leaving us emotionally isolated or resentful. This is our time for emotional wholeness.